


A Rope and a Smile

by CasualCazz



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Suicide Attempt, Other, Vent fic mostly, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 14:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16327889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualCazz/pseuds/CasualCazz
Summary: Rus is having a very hard time, so he decides to do something about it.





	A Rope and a Smile

Rus doesn’t remeber how he ended up at the Home Depot, nor does he remember how he ended up wandering through the aisles and holding thick, woven ropes in his hands. He was just going through of motions like he always does to numb away the ravaging blackhole that resides in his metaphorical gut. It takes and it takes and takes, leaving him nothing but insatiable guilt, destructive anger, deepening despair, and unimaginable lonliness.

But even numbness is a pain. It’s a devil disguised as a saint, that promised him salvation from the demons ebbing away at his soul, but numbness is the worst pain of all. He shouldn’t feel this way, he’s not supposed to. He longs to be joyful again, to love and be loved, or to have that warmth in his core again, instead of the never ending winter.

He looks around at the other customers going about their day. A father buying wood for his first crib. A woman buying plants for her garden. A grandmother and her grandson picking out a color to paint the living. All these happy people living the best they can. Rus remembers a time where he was just like them, and the people that loved him. But then the voices came, and love turned into anguish. He fucked up, til he had no one else, but the voices. The voices are his friends.

He doesn’t want them. He needs to make them stop. They whisper secrets on how to make them leave, and they promise that the rope is the only way. Rus squeezes it tightly, the threads harshly rubbing against his bones. He makes his way to the check out, his mind fuzzy and a blur, with only one goal in mind. He’s dead to the world.

Placing the rope on the conveyer belt at the check out, Rus reaches for his wallet in his back pocket. His eyelights glance up, accidentally locking eyes with a toddler on another lane. He can’t explain why, but he freezes. Her mother is too busy paying to notice her baby staring at Rus. She looks at him, eyes large with innocent curiosity. Then she giggles, smiling and waving at him with pure childlike hope and wonder, and for the first time in a long time, a tingling lightness, stirrs deep inside him. He quietly gasps and trembles slightly, a choked sob caught in his throat.

“That will be $13.50,” the cashier informs him.

Rus shakes his head and takes a step back, “I’m sorry. I don’t think I want this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on my [tumblr ](http://www.casualbones.tumblr.com)


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